


Blue Rose

by RandomoPotato



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Hogwarts Fourth Year, Luna Lovegood & Draco Malfoy Friendship, M/M, No Beta We Die Like Dobby, Not Canon Compliant, Oblivious Draco Malfoy, Other, POV Draco Malfoy, Slytherin, slytherin friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27602693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomoPotato/pseuds/RandomoPotato
Summary: Draco Malfoy had just found out that he had a special illness that only affected a rare few in the Wizarding World, Hanahaki. He was going to die and he didn't even know the person that was causing it.Of course, just his bloody luck.Read on as this prat traverses through his school life with a whole new different perspective, knowing he may not even live long enough to graduate.
Relationships: Cho Chang/OFC, Diggory/OC, Draco Malfoy & Pansy Parkinson & Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood & Draco Malfoy
Comments: 16
Kudos: 70





	1. Hanahaki

Draco knew how the world was meant to work. It revolved around magic. Magic which was borrowed from the earth to create wonders out of nowhere.

Magic was only meant for those who stayed pure, those who upheld the wizarding traditions, cherished its gift, and was born on its land. Having it appear in muggles only taints it. Those who even supported the concept of it being tainted were deemed traitors.

Mudbloods.

Blood traitors.

They will eventually get their comeuppance. And only then will they see the truth.

He knew this.

Only purebloods were allowed the gift of magic, only they were meant to be blessed with its wonders. Only they, who have continued with the ancient traditions, deserve it.

But if that is so, then why...

Draco looked down at his hands, blue petals and red liquid mixed together.

_"It is a disease that afflicts only a rare few. It is only when magic deems that something must be done that it occurs. Alas, not many arrive at the conclusion it desires."_

The words of the text in front of him echo throughout his mind.

For a week, he'd been searching through books and scrolls for what it meant: coughing up petals.

At first, he didn't think much of it. Perhaps he'd swallowed a petal on his walk in Hogsmeade.

Then he kept coughing out more. Perhaps a jinx.

Then there was blood.

He thought to go to Madame Pomfrey, but he felt a stirring inside to not do it.

He didn't know why but he followed that stupid instinct which led him to now, in the middle of the library holding the answer in front of him.

"Hanahaki..." he spoke the words aloud. Draco was glad that there wasn't anyone in the library at the moment.

He sounded stupid saying it.

His eyes went back to the top of the page.

_"The Hanahaki Disease - it afflicts those with deep unrequited love. As time passes, flowers signifying their object of affection will grow and spread in their lungs. If the person's feelings stay unrequited, the flowers will spread to the point that the victim will be unable to breathe and then die."_

Draco wanted to laugh. How one simple paragraph basically turned his whole world upside down and gave him his own death sentence.

He looked at the possible ways to cure it:

  * Confess and have the love become requited
  * Surgery
  * Fall out of love



He was already on board with the idea of surgery. After all, if money was an issue, it would definitely not apply to him nor his family.

But then it stated that it had a 70% chance of failure and death.

And that even with its success, the victim would be left without ever feeling the emotion of love again.

Draco couldn't imagine that. A 30% chance of surviving and even then never being able to feel love ever again?

It wasn't even just romantic. It included love of all kinds.

The idea to never feel that burst of warmth everytime he, Pans, and Blaise stayed up all night gossiping and playing games in the dorm.

The idea of never feeling protected and at peace everytime he would have tea with Mother and everytime she would wrap her arms around him...

No.

Draco didn't–he couldn't live like that.

And that left only the other 2 options.

He desperately hoped the 3rd one, falling out of love, would work.

After all, he didn't even know who he was bloody in love with.

He closed the book and sighed.

Why did magic decide this needed to happen to him?

Draco buried his head into his hands. He did everything right. He upheld the traditions. He cherished it gifts and taunted those who didn't.

So why...why did magic think he needed to be afflicted with a life-threatening disease?

Draco went to Madame Pince to borrow the book and made his way back to the Slytherin dungeons.

A test perhaps? Maybe the object of his affections was pureblood and together they would bring forth a powerful child meant to pave the way for the future of purebloods to rise up higher in society–no. Bloody hell, that's stupid.

Even just thinking of it sounded ridiculous.

Draco scowled as he muttered the password to the walls and passed through the barrier.

First Potter gets to participate in the bloody tournament, which he must add is against the rules. He should know since he wasn't allowed to enter despite Father being on the school board. Then Potter decided to damage everyone's eyesight with his abhorrent flying skills, stealing the golden egg with an inch of his life from a dragon like the bloody Gryffindor he was.

And now...this!?

He thought last year was a wreck what with a serial killer entering Hogwarts and him nearly getting killed by that bloody Hippogriff.

Alright so he wasn't exactly going to be killed by the beast.

And it definitely didn't warrant the beast's execution...

Draco shook his head.

Anyway, this year was definitely the worst, even compared to the last. Draco hoped that it would stay that way. He really didn't want an even worse year than this. Then again, there is the eventual year he would...No he'll fall out of love for sure. Surely, this disease will disappear any moment now.

Draco then realized that some of the Slytherins were staring at him. He glared at them until they got the message and went back to whatever they were doing.

"Draco darling!" he felt two arms engulf him in an embrace.

"Eugh, get off me Pans!" He struggled out of the monster's clutches.

"Oh?," a voice drawled from the side, "is the Slytherin Prince having difficulty dealing with a hug?"

"Sod off Blaise," Draco snapped as he finally released himself from Pansy's grip. "Now can anyone explain why I was just ambushed with this madwoman's bloody grip?"

Blaise rolled his eyes. "Pans has just learned some new gossip and is practically skipping with fairies from the news."

"Yes!" Pans had a glint in her eyes that made Draco feel sorry for the poor soul that Pansy had her gossip on. "Did you know Vilmont from Ravenclaw likes Diggory?"

"Vilmont..." Draco thought aloud, "Do you mean Edmund Vilmont?"

Pansy nodded. "As it turns out, they've had a crush on Diggory since they were both 2nd years!"

"And that's juicy gossip because..."

"I'm getting there!" Pansy snapped. "As you know, over half the school likes Diggory. I mean who wouldn't. Don't think I haven't seen you making eyes at him."

Draco flushed at this but motioned her to continue.

"Well the interesting bit is that I heard from a source who had a source from Hufflepuff that Diggory also had a crush on them!"

Draco's mouth went agape. "No way..." Vilmont was scrawny and always buried themselves into books of who knows what. They were so bloody awkward that when Draco tried to pick on them, they muttered a fucking thank you as Draco left. Diggory was into that!?

"And now you're probably wondering why Diggory has been 'dating' Chang..."

Draco noticed some of the other Slytherins stop their conversation to listen in on Pansy's new juicy bit of information.

"They both wanted to make their crushes jealous!"

"So Chang isn't with Diggory?"

Everyone turned to see a flustered Slytherin from 6th year. She immediately cooled her face down back into the Slytherin mask, but everyone already heard her outburst.

Pansy nodded. "Yep, it turns out it was all a ruse to get their crushes to notice and stop being in denial. From what it looks like, at least Diggory will be reaping some success from this."

"I'm honestly shocked. Didn't think that Hufflepuff would have it in him to execute that plan," Blaise spoke in awe.

Draco gave a wolfish grin. "How much do you bet he's already snogging Vilmont in the Hufflepuff entrance."

Blaise smirked. "Please, it's definitely in the Ravenclaw tower."

During the exchange, the sixth year Slytherin had slipped out of the common room.

Once the ruckus quieted down after Pansy's little reveal of information, Draco, Pansy, and Blaise went to the dorms. Well, they went to the dorms Draco and Blaise shared.

"So do you want to explain your little excursions to the library this past week?" Blaise spoke up.

Draco flinched having let his guard down from the new gossip Pansy shared. He forced his shoulder to relax. "Obviously it's for homework," he rolled his eyes.

"Is that why you've also been frequenting the bathroom a lot more often than usual?" Pansy added.

"Bloody hell, do you record my bathroom breaks?"

Pansy scowled. "Merlin Draco, why would you come up with that. No, I think anyone would assume if you've been excusing yourself to go the bathroom in nearly every single bloody class."

Ah. That made sense.

"So?"

Draco gulped but kept his face impassive. "I've just been researching a new topic on charms. Did you know that charms can actually be layered if they have the right compatibility?"

"But doesn't each require a different wand motion?" Blaise pondered.

"Yes, that's why you need to–"

"Don't bloody change the subject! And that still doesn't explain the breaks to the bathroom!" Pansy was fuming.

"Yes Pans I'm getting there," Draco attempted to placate her. "You see..." Fuck where does he go from here. Honestly, he just thought the first thing that came up in his head.

"Go on," Pansy's eyes narrowed.

Fuck, she was already getting suspicious.

"Flowers" Fuuckk why not just mention he's come up with a rare fucking disease while he's at it.

"Flowers?" Pansy had an eyebrow raised.

"Yes, flowers," Draco hoped to Merlin his mouth and brain won't fuck this up. "I've been working on merging charms concerning flowers since it wouldn't be that dangerous if something went wrong. Right now I tested how long the casted charm would stay up. That's why I've been leaving every class."

Pansy still had her eyes narrowed. "Let's see this charm."

"I already cancelled it."

"Then let's at least see a demonstration of it hmm?"

Draco stared at Pansy as she stared back at him.

He groaned.

"Ha! You liar! Now c'mon, give us the truth."

"Would it honestly kill you to not put your nose into other people's business?" Draco whined.

"Nope, especially not if my best friend is involved."

It was then that Draco realized the worry concealed in Pansy's eyes.

"Fine, but this stays only between us"

"I hope by us, you're also including me?" Blaise had one brow cocked up.

Draco groaned again. "Yes Blaise you too."

Blaise casted a muffliato charm and locked the door. Meanwhile Pansy casted some anti-eavesdropping charms.

The two then stared at Draco.

"...promise you won't freak out."

Pansy's eyes widened. "Just you saying that is already making me freak out! What the fuck Draco."

"Alright I just," Draco pinched the bridge of his nose, "look I just found out today so bear with me if I also need time to gather my thoughts."

Pansy and Blaise shared a look. "Please tell me it's not something you discovered from Madame Pomfrey," the worry in Pansy's eyes were no longer concealed.

Draco laughed, but he didn't have the heart in it. "No, I didn't discover this from her nor did I go to the clinic."

Pansy and Blaise relaxed a bit at this. Draco knew he was definitely going to be screamed and shoved to Madame Pomfrey's once he told his two best friends the news though.

"Have any of you heard of Hanahaki?"


	2. Annoying Gryffindors

It went exactly as Draco had predicted, no, it was worse.

"Draco fucking Lucius Malfoy, this better not be a prank or I'll–" Pansy was red in the face.

"Do you really think I'm joking?" Draco gripped tightly on the book in his hands. It was open at the page describing the disease.

At that it looked like all the energy left out of Pansy.

"Well then obviously there could still be a wrong diagnosis..." Blaise added.

The two turned to Blaise.

"Look, we can't rule out that perhaps it's something else. I mean look! You don't even know the person you apparently have unrequited love towards, to the point that magic wants you to die!"

"He..he has a point Dray. Maybe it isn't..."

And just like clockwork, Draco felt something tickle in his throat. On instinct, he was about to make his way towards the bathroom when Blaise and Pansy gripped his arms, their faces full of worry.

He couldn't hold it in anymore and coughed it out. Draco felt the two let go of him as he kept coughing. He went into a bit of a fit until a few petals dislodged from his throat.

And with them, a few drops of blood.

Draco wiped at his mouth and held out a wand to cast a scourgify and vanishing charm when Blaise stopped him by gripping his arms again with shaking hands.

"We–we need to keep a sample." He took out his wand and summoned a jar from his trunk. "Hopefully...it's something else. Something better and different and.."

"Draco how long have you been hiding this from us?" Draco could see the worry heavy in Pansy's eyes.

Draco shook his head. "Not long, or at least I don't think so. I only noticed recently when the coughing got a tad worse and you know," he gestured, "the...blood..."

Pansy paled at this. But soon her eyes alit with determination. "We're going to get through this Draco okay?" She placed a hand on his shoulder.

Draco stared into those eyes. And suddenly he was scared. Because it dawned on him what he would be losing because of this magic illness. "Pans I–"

Her hold tightened on his shoulder.

"Draco, we will get through this. We'll first need to confirm– _fully confirm_ –that it's actually this hanahaki disease in the book. And..and we'll see the other sources. There's definitely a lot more than just the books at the Hogwarts library. Blaise and I will get some books from our manors while you get some from yours. Then after that we'll...well, we'll find something."

All Draco could do was nod. The trio then wrapped each other in one big hug while Pansy and Blaise muttered assurances. They were going to get through this. They'll live until they're fucking 150 years old and die peacefully in their sleep surrounded by loved ones.

Draco mentally shook his head at the thought. He was sure that the other two knew that even without his Hanahaki, that scenario wouldn't happen...But sometimes, it was nice to dream that it was.

And that's when it really set in. If he was going to die, he was going to lose this. He was going to lose his Mother, lose the tea times and the rare hugs. He was going to lose any more opportunities to play quidditch. He was going to lose moments he could've enjoyed in Hogsmeade or the trips to France. He was going to lose the moments he could eat more cake and chocolate. He was going to miss the chance to graduate with O's in his NEWTS and get a high paying job that would make his family proud.

He won't get to hear Pansy's usual complaints about the ongoing drama. He won't get to hear Blaise's sarcastic remarks everytime they do something stupid. He won't be there for their 50th birthdays, their weddings, their milestones, their highs, their lows.

He won't get to be with them in the future.

Not if he won't even have one.

Draco tightened his hold on Pansy and Blaise. His body shook at the thought.

"I don't want to die," he whispered.

And it was like a switch had been flipped.

Slytherins don't cry, not usually, not like this. They don't let their walls down and allow themselves to be vulnerable to others around them. They stay cold. They keep up the walls so no one would know that they've been broken.

But right now, 3 Slytherins cried in each other's arms, babbling on how they would get through this and promising to do whatever they can so that one of them won't die.

And it was then that Draco made a secret resolution in his heart. Because on the high chance they don't actually solve this, he wants to make every moment count.

-o-O-o-

For the first few weeks, the Slytherins stayed thick as thieves by each other's side. If people didn't know any better, they would have thought that they were bound to each other by invisible chains. Every class, they would stay right next to each other. In the Great Hall they would sit together as usual, but this time they were clumped up by each other's sides as if they would die if they didn't have any physical contact.

Of course this was the tipping point that something unusual was definitely going on. Slytherins don't do physical contact, especially in public eye.

But as time passed, the tipping point turned into an entire glacier flipping a 180 in the ocean.

None of the Slytherin trio had even spared a glance at the Golden trio. They didn't make taunts at anyone or spouted on about their blood purity beliefs.

No, they were keeping to themselves.

Draco wouldn't have it any other way. In fact, he secretly snickered with Blasie and Pans on the agaped faces of the people in their surroundings. He would swear that one of them was Snape for a brief moment!

It was fun. He'd rather spend more time with his best friends any day than waste it correcting other people's idiotic agreement with muggle views.

"Did you get the results yet?" Pansy spoke to Blaise over Draco's head.

Blaise shook his head with a "no".

Draco rolled his eyes. While they were indeed spending more time together, a good chunk of it was used to research about Draco's affliction. Every minute they could scrounge from their free time would be used to pour over the books from the Hogwarts library.

Blaise, meanwhile, really did get the sample (the blue petals and blood) sent to be analyzed at a magical research center. He had immediately used one of his contacts (undoubtedly related to one of his dead dads) and made sure it was anonymous.

If it wasn't for Blaise being so sure, Draco would've feared that it wasn't and that they would discover who it belonged to. He definitely could not let it get out that the Malfoy heir is... afflicted with some stupid disease for unrequited love.

Everyday, Pans would question Blaise about the results. And everyday Draco could see the tension building up on his best friends' shoulders.

"Well, we've pretty much exhausted whatever could be related to what I have in the Hogwarts Library. So far, the Hanahaki seems to be the only thing that fits," Draco drawled. "I say we go and play some Exploding Snap in the dorms."

"We still have the books from our manors," Pansy supplied.

Draco huffed. "We've already been spending too much of our free time bloody scouring through the piles of books in the library. It even caused my grades to drop and there is only so many excuses I can make to Severus as to why my potions essay isn't up to par as usual."

He noticed the other two exchange glances.

"Then... you can rest. Blaise and I can research a bit more."

"Nope," Draco took hold of his two best friends by their arms. "If I'm going to rest, then you're going to rest too. And honestly Pans if your grades drop too low, you'll be assigned more homework and that will just make it so we have less time to spend on the research."

Pansy opened her mouth in protest but closed it again. "My grades aren't that bad, honestly," she muttered. But she let herself be dragged along.

The trio made their way towards the slytherin dorms when they were blocked by someone.

They were actually three people: one with thick bushy hair, the other with short red hair, and the last one with a bird's nest.

Draco saw Pansy and Blaise take a step forward in front of Draco, acting like bodyguards.

"If it isn't the Golden Trio," Pansy spat. "Now what brings you here to grace us with your presence?"

"Really," Blaise added, "I didn't think that the role models of Gryffindoric righteousness would stoop so low as to ambush a couple of unsuspecting students."

Granger and Weasel sputtered at this. But strangely Potter didn't react to the taunts. Instead, his attention was on...

"Potter," even spitting the name out lit a fire within Draco, "it appears that you still don't even have the words to give a legitimate excuse as to why you and your sidekicks are in the dungeons."

Draco then took a step forward towards Potter. "What? Want to remind us of your superiority as the Golden Boy who got to take part in the Triwizard Tournament? Come to brag about your pitiful excuse of a participation when we already have our own champion who got his right to participate fair and square?"

Draco could see Weasley going red at the corner of his eyes. He could feel his blood pumping as he waited in anticipation for Potter's reaction, the way his emerald eyes would light up on fire. How Potter would just surround himself with this chaotic burst of energy, magic fizzing in the air like lightning that could strike the opponent.

Draco waited for the usual comeback, the raise in his voice, the furrow in his brows, the way he would tower over him and look ready to punch.

But it never came.

"You're right. It's Cedric who deserves to participate, not me. I didn't want to take part in this stupid deadly competition Malfoy," Potter spoke in an unnaturally cool manner.

Draco was...well...shocked. He didn't expect Potter of all people to actually _agree_ with him.

But he schooled in his expression and went back to the usual sneer. "Oh, so the Chosen One finally has some sense in him for once! I didn't think I would see the day. That still begs the question why you and your lackeys have decided to settle in the dungeons. Last I checked, idiotic reckless lions don't live in the snake's den."

Potter's eyes seem to light up with its usual fire.

Sadly, it wasn't as fiery as before.

"Malfoy, you and your Slytherins are definitely up to something. You better think again before we–"

Draco raised a brow, "What makes you think that we're even up to something Potter. I doubt you even have evidence."

Potter's gaze narrowed at this, "So you really are up to something."

Draco merely rolled his eyes. "No Potter, we aren't up to anything. We just came back from our studying session in the library and are–were–heading our way back to the dorms for a good game of snap. Well, until you lot decided to show up."

"But–"

"What is your evidence Potter?"

He noticed the idiot at a loss for words. "You...you've been acting strange. You've been keeping to yourselves, no longer insulting any of us. And you've been spending your days in the library, even more than you usually do."

"Oh?" Draco questioned, "You've been keeping tabs on me Potter?"

Potter was at a loss for words, undoubtedly trying to think up a proper excuse.

"And I still don't hear anything that supports your claims."

Potter, miraculously, went silent. Draco took that as an opportunity to take hold of his two best friends and push his way through the trio towards the slytherin dorms.

He then gave one last look at the speccy git and his lot. "Maybe you should stop and realize that the world doesn't revolve around you or your expectations. People change Potter. Perhaps I and my friends decided that everyone else isn't worth the attention anymore, especially not you three."

He felt exhilarated at the thought that he actually got the last word and left Potter and his minions a sputtering mess. And for once, he didn't even have to do anything! Just slap cool logic right back at Potter's face.

Draco could feel himself grinning ear to ear. Ah, he wished he could store this memory in a pensieve. It was definitely one worth reliving.

That memory replayed in his head as he beat his friends in a decent game of Exploding Snap. It brought a smile on his face before he went to sleep. And it even added a skip in his steps as he made his way ti the Great Hall with Pansy and Blaise.

...Sadly, that happiness was short-lived.

-o-O-o-

As it turns out, the Golden trio took that as a provocation to keep a close eye on them.

First it was in the Great Hall, with them staring and whispering. Draco and his friends tried to ignore them but the food just tasted bland in their mouths. And it just continued on from there.

Everywhere he, Pans, and Blaise turned, they would be there watching from a corner, whispering to one another.

Draco would have been pleased by the attention if it wasn't so bloody annoying. They couldn't research about the disease anymore in the library so they had to transfer their activities to the slytherin dorm.

And there is only so much comfort one could get reading books in a room dim with its only source of light being candles rather than the usual daylight in the library.

Pans once suggested a sort of daylight charm. That one nearly blinded them for a whole bloody hour. Luckily, no one else entered the dorm at the time to see three idiots floundering around waving their hands in front, calling for each ither.

And the stares. The fucking stares. Draco could've perfected that transfiguration spell soon if not for the fact that the golden trio were practically boring their eyes through his skull.

Based on Pansy's and Blaise's performance, he could tell they were affected too.

In the classrooms, the library, the great hall, the corridors—everywhere, just everywhere he could spot the golden trio not far off.

After only 1 week of this, he'd had enough. They were walking through the corridors and he could hear the click-clacks of the Gryffindors' footsteps.

Draco turned on his heels to glare at the three people behind them.

"Will. You. Just. Stop," he gritted through his teeth. He could see the trio stiffen up. Good.

"Look, I don't know why you decided to play make-believe aurors and stalk us at every corner. But me and my friends aren't doing anything. No, we're not planning to take over the school or Wizarding Britain. No, we don't have some diabolical scheme that would harm or put people's live at risk. And no, I'm not going to give you information on why we're doing this. Because you know what? It's none of your fucking business." Draco realized that he was seething and rising up to meet Potter in the eyes.

"Maybe, just maybe, you Gryffindor lot should leave us the fuck alone. We're finally not doing shit to anyone and there's a saying, 'don't thank a fairy for its gift'. In other words Potter, if your little tiny peanut of a brain didn't understand, don't shove your noses into other people's business once everything starts to look up."

"That's the thing Malfoy," Potter's voice held contempt but had an underlaying hesitation..? "Do you really think no one would be suspicious of you and your friends? What? You think we can just easily accept how one day you torment us, insult our families and being who we are, and the next day, you just decide to stop?"

"Yes!" Draco felt riled up. He always did when it involved Potter. "Yes! Because you know what? Maybe one day I realized that we don't all have forever. Maybe I don't want to spend every waking moment filled with hate and anger towards everyone around me when I could spend it doing something that makes me happy!"

And there it was, the reaction he always anticipated from Potter. The magic in the air, the fire in his eyes. But it easn't as exciting. No, Potter just seemed tired.

"Well Malfoy, maybe you should've thought about that sooner, before you tormented everyone with your bigoted blood purist beliefs," he seethed. "You and your slytherins always throw your words and hexes at us, pointing out non-existent flaws and insulting the people we love."

Draco opened his mouth in protest–

"How would you feel if everyone kept insulting your friends? How would you feel if someone kept bringing up your family and sneer at all the fucking problems you have no control over!? You think I want to be an orphan? You think I wanted to be reminded every fucking day that my parents are dead and I have to face that reminder every day because of my scar!? "

Draco closed his mouth. He didn't that that was the reason Potter hated insults about his scar. He thought Potter was just conscious of his appearance but now...

"Speaking of family, how about stop insulting my friends' families! The Weasleys are amazing people who love and care for those around them. They're wealth doesn't and will never define their worth as people. They are the strongest and kindest people I've ever known!"

Draco could see Weasley going red next to Potter, looking at Potter with a wobbly smile.

"And Mione is the brightest witch of our year! Even if she wasn't, her blood doesn't make her any less of a person."

Draco could see Granger beaming at Potter.

Draco looked away and furrowed his brows. Perhaps what Potter said previously did make some sense. He didn't really notice how much of an impact "scarhead" had on Potter. And Draco should know of all people how wealth didn't mean everything when it came to family. After all he... But anyway, surely Potter should know that mudbloods are much more inferior to purebloods.

"Think about it Malfoy! Think with your fucking head. You're second in our year when it comes to brains. Did you never bother to look properly at the ranking? There isn't exactly a clearcut line between purebloods, halfbloods, and muggleborns. You don't see all purebloods taking up the top rankings and you don't see all muggleborns taking the bottom."

Draco peeked at his friends. He had to admit...Potter did have a point. Blaise was somewhere in the top 15 but Pans was just around average...and of course there wasn't even a need to mention Crabbe and Goyle. And he himself had been beaten by a mudblood...

Then there was even quidditch. Draco was also doing quite well there. Pansy was good if she had the motivation. And Blaise...well Blaise was abysmal.

It was mixed. There wasn't a clearcut line. As Pansy was average, there was definitely a number of mudbloods abover her. Same for Blaise in quidditch.

"What Malfoy? Going to shout the same things you were taught by your dad? Daddy's little boy can't think for himself?"

Draco was at a loss for words.

That was when Pansy stepped in. "Shut up Potter. Just leave us the fuck alone." But her voice shook at the end of her words. Draco felt that she too didn't know what to with Potter's points.

"What are you lot doing crowding the corridors?" a deep voice drawled, interrupting them.

Everyone turned to see Professor Snape with his usual scowl.

"They started the fight Professor," Draco heard Blaise pipe up when no one did. He was pointing at the Gryffindor trio.

Professor Snape's scowl deepened. "Of course it's the Golden boy and his friends... Potter, Granger, and Weasley, you will be having detention with me on Friday night, cleaning every single cauldron."

They protested. "But professor–!" "We didn't do anything–" "They were the ones who–"

"Enough! 30 points from Gryffindor for causing a disturbance in the halls and harrasing my students."

The Gryffindors sputtered some more but eventually went quiet. They glared at Draco and his friends.

Usually, Draco would be making a mocking smile in reply. He would tilt his head up and peer down at them as if it was obvious that they were the ones who deserved whatever they got.

But Draco didn't feel like doing it. Instead, his mind filled with the argument they just had...mudbloods...purebloods...insulting Potter's scar...

"Mr. Malfoy, I believe you and your friends have classes to attend to?"

Draco nodded with the other two.

They continued on their way through the corridor, not noticing the questioning gaze piercing at their backs.


	3. Questions and Abandonment

"So...that happened."

The three Slytherins were in their dorms after finishing classes. After the incident with Snape, the Gryffindors finally left them alone. But that just left them with another problem.

Draco was lying belly down with a pillow in his hands, facing Pansy and Blaise who were at the foot of his bed.

He sighed. "I don't even know where to fucking begin."

"Oh I know!" Pansy spoke up in mock cheer, "how about we begin with questioning every single bloody thing we've been taught about since we were in our nappies!"

Blaise rolled his eyes. "We get it Pans. Not exactly a nice thing to face."

Pansy scowled at him. "Well what do you expect? It hasn't exactly been nice and happy since..." She stopped herself and bit her bottom lip.

The silence in the room was deafening.

Blaise coughed into his hands, "Well, I say we rip the bandage right off and get it over with."

The two gave him incredulous looks.

"You can't be fucking serious Blaise," Pansy remarked. "That's honestly the most Gryffindor–" she and Draco blanched, "–thing I've ever heard."

"Do you have any better ideas than ignoring this forever?" he drawled.

"Well actually ignoring could–"

Blaise gave Pansy a deadpan stare. "If none, then we'll just have to do this and _then_ we can ignore it for the rest of our lives."

Draco and Pansy kept their mouth shuts. They then peered at Blaise like ducklings looking towards their mother duck.

Blaise went a bit red. "Ok so...er..."

Draco groaned. He'll go bald if they kept going at this rate.

"Alright you oafs," he interrupted Blaise's ramblings, "let's just make it clear. We're not in the wrong. At least not entirely...we're just going to have to...adjust some of what we've thought of..." Bloody hell even he couldn't really think of the right words to say despite the upbringing of eloquence practically drilled into him.

The other two nodded so Draco continued.

"We," he took in a sharp breath, "we've been taught all our lives how...we're at the top. We're the ones who are superior. We're the ones of supreme bloodline who deserve magic's gift."

Pansy and Blaise nodded at this.

"So...so what if it's wrong?"

It was one thing to have that niggling thought in the back of your mind. But it's another thing when spoken out loud. It just made it more real.

"I..." Pansy spoke up in an unusually soft voice, "I still don't think it's necessarily wrong."

Blaise looked from Pansy to Draco. "I think what she means is that, we're still at the top."

"No," Pansy cut in, "I just...I mean...I don't know..."

Draco shrugged. "You heard Potter's point." He felt a tickle at the back of his throat. "We aren't all exactly the cream of the crop at everything."

"Then, there are just exceptions," Pansy added. But she deflated not long after. Even she probably knew how weak of an excuse that was.

"And how many 'exceptions' do we need to make?" Blaise spoke with one eyebrow raised. Leave it to him to stab through the weak arguments.

Draco rolled over in his bed and took another peek at the door. He tossed a diagnosis spell to check if the wards they put up were still there.

He spoke, "Perhaps...blood may not actually define us."

Both Blaise and Pans stared at him with wide eyes abd open mouths.

"What?" Draco stood up from his bed. "This is what we were going to talk about! It's bloody ridiculous and so fucking insane. But..."

He was now pacing in circles. "Potter actually did have decent points. And surely if we looked into it, we could find evidence to support his and the other bloodtraitors' stance. But for our beliefs? We never bloody had something like that! Where did we learn about it? Why are we so set on it being the absolute truth!? We've learned from our parents who just learned from their parents who just learned from their parents. No fucking evidence. Just books written about traditions by our bloody ancestors!"

"Yes, but does it really mean it's false? Magic _is_ meant to be cherished," Pansy cut in. "Since forever, we have uphold the traditions and kept the bloodline pure! It just makes sense that we deserve it most!"

Draco stopped in his tracks. "Well...yes we–"

"Makes sense?" Blaise drawled as he stared at Pansy again. "Do you really think it makes sense because it does? or because it was drilled into our heads?"

Draco had to admit, he might have crumbled if not for Blaise's interruption.

"Well then are you saying that magic isn't meant to be cherished either? That it's something so simple, that it could be shared with just anyone, even those of filthy blood?" Pansy forged on.

"No, magic is definitely something to cherish. At least we have proof of what it can give. But why do we get to decide who receives it? Who made us its representative, believeing we know what it wants?" Blaise spat.

Draco cleared his throat, still feeling it a bit clogged. He knew that wands were going to get thrown into the air at this rate. "We need to face it. If mudbloods...if muggleborns were not meant to hold magic's gift, then why have it in the first place? If magic favored purebloods, then why do some fail and stay average?"

"You have to admit though, this really does sound crazy," Blaise said.

Draco rolled his eyes, "well if you have any counterarguments, be my guest."

Blaise raised both hands in surrender. "Oi, I didn't say I was against it."

"So do you agree with it?...Do you believe that blood purity is wrong?"

All three of them went silent.

Draco had to admit, if the one thing they believed to be the absolute truth turned out to be...not true, then what did it mean for all other things they were taught? In fact, it really just made him want to ignore it altogether.

Acknowledging that it was wrong, acknowledging that _his father_ was wrong, made Draco's stomach churn. It suddenly felt like he was now going into everything blind, no longer knowing truth from lie.

"..."

And so as abnormally emotionally constipated teenagers with strict pureblood upbringing, they decided to leave the topic for another time.

Was the thought still their in the back of their minds? Of course. But did they have other things to talk about and address? Definitely.

"For the upcoming Yule Ball, I'm debating between this traditional satin robe and this spectacular new silk robe I found at a shop," Pansy squealed. "I honestly would've just gone with the silk robes. They actually have this nice gradient of a deep purple to a molten pink. And you should see the embroidery! But sadly, satin robes have been trending lately and I–"

Draco and Blaise nodded at their friend. Draco could notice Blaise was on the brink of exploding with suggestions for what she should do.

He rolled his eyes and used that opportunity to excuse himself to the bathroom.

Once in there, Draco casted a muffliato, and tried to cough out the bloody petals. For some reason, he hadn't gotten much hectic fits since the moment with Pansy and Blaise. It was far and few in between. He hoped it stayed that way.

Surprisingly though, this time there wasn't even any blood and there was only one petal. Draco looked at it in confusion.

It'd been a while since he'd seen only one petal, and with no blood at that. It reminded him of the first time he got it. He remembered how he was thinking he accidentally swallowed it on that Hogsmeade trip. If only that were the actual case.

"Draco! What's taking you so long? I need your input on my robes. Blaise said that I should–"

Ah. He forgot to lock the door.

Draco could already imagine what Pansy was seeing before her, him standing by a sink holding a blue petal.

She paled.

"Pans no–"

"Draco you...you didn't need to hide it. I mean Blaise and I already know so you don't...Is this why we haven't seen you cough lately? Is that it? Have you been holding it in every class?"

Draco really wished he didn't have to deal with a worrying Pansy. Angry Pansy was scary and terrifying. She could make your life a living nightmare. But worrying Pansy was just as bad, constantly fretting over you like his Mother. She would hover over you and if you snapped at her well...Anyway, at least it wasn't a mix of angry and worrying Pansy. That one was the worst.

"Pans," Draco gently grabbed her arms. "I haven't been hiding anything from you guys. I really haven't been having much of these fits lately and..."

Draco was thinking of pointing out how this time there wasn't even any blood! But...he didn't want to bring her hopes up, not when he didn't even know why it became like this. Is it random? Does it have intervals where it goes on one extreme then to the other? Or was there an actual reason it became this way?

Nevertheless, he didn't want to push any more burdens onto his friend.

"Pans, I swear I'll ask for help if it gets worse again. Ok?"

Pansy looked him the eyes like she wa searching for something. After a while, she narrowed her gaze. "Swear it on Slytherin's honor."

"What, I" Draco sputtered. "Pans, isn't that a bit overboard. I honestly don't think it requires–"

"Swear it," her tone left no room for a compromise.

He sighed. "Fine, I swear on Slytherin's honor," he held up his wand, "that I, Draco Lucius Malfoy, will ask for help when I go into a coughing fit with numerous petals and blood."

His wand gave a little glow then dimmed.

He looked at Pansy as she nodded in approval.

While it wasn't as strong as an Unbreakable Vow, the Oath of Slytherin's Honor was still a pretty big thing. It tends to compel the user to do as they have sworn in the oath.

Of course, a user can break it if they choose to do so, but they will be left with an irremovable magical mark on their face for a week. Nothing could be done to hide or remove it. This was due to the mark acting as a sign, a reminder of the Slytherin's failure to uphold their honor.

Because while Slytherins may be cunning, they will keep to their word to the very end. It is in their pride to follow through with what they've promised. A Slytherin who does otherwise is merely a disappointment of their house, especially if they don't even have a decent excuse for it.

He then found himself enclosed by a monstrous grip, er embrace.

"Don't bloody scare me like that Draco!"

Draco nodded as he returned the hug. He can't keep doing this. He can't keep making his friends worry like this about him.

"Oh? Guess we're going for another group hug?" Blaise called out from the bathroom's doorstep.

Draco glared at him as he rolled his eyes.

He joined in the hug while muttering things about how un-slytherin-like they were being.

-o-O-o-

The next day, news came.

Blaise had finally gotten the results from the analysis.

Draco didn't know how he should have felt. Shocked? Angry? Sad? All he felt was nothing. As if somewhere deep inside, he already knew the answer.

"It really is...Hanahaki..."

They were in the Great Hall and neither him nor his friends gave anything away with their facial expressions. No one would've noticed the little details, how blaise gripped the letter in his hand more tightly, how Pansy didn't take another sip from her cup of coffee, and how Draco didn't make a usual snarky comment.

No one would've noticed their strange behavior. It of course helped that Blaise discreetly casted a notice-me-not charm the minute he held the letter in his hand.

"Well...I guess that's that."

Blaise and Pansy turned to him with eyes slightly widened.

He looked down at the cup of tea in his hand and sighed. "Don't tell me you two actually believed otherwise, that it was something else, something less...severe. I think it was already getting quite obvious from the information we got, depleting the Hogwarts library."

Draco could see Pans bite her bottom lip while looking down at her own drink. Blaise was now crumpling the paper in his hands.

Pansy then stood up from her seat, causing Blaise and Draco to nearly tumble out of theirs. "Wha–""Pans, what the hell!?"

She grabbed him and Blaise and dragged them out of the Great Hall.

They couldn't have stopped her if they tried. She had the determination of a dragon that had set its sight on a pile of gold. Not even an army could stop her.

Pansy continued to drag them until they reached an unused classroom. She proceeded to shove them in there and cast a locking and muffliato charm.

Their friend huffed as she glared at the two of them.

Or well, Draco would like to believe it was at the both of them and not just him.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, I swear to Merlin I was going to keep quiet about it but I've had enough!"

It was silent.

Draco was taken aback, "What? You mean my illness? Are you still talking about my coughing fit? Because I didn't keep quiet about it. We even just had a conversation about it yesterday and I even did the Slytherin's Oath–"

"That's not what I'm talking about."

"...then what?"

Pansy then did something that Draco had never seen her do before. She grabbed her hair in frustration. "Arrgh! Draco you could just be so–fuck!"

She did what Draco could see was an attempt at fixing her hair back to normal. Sadly, it wouldn't work.

Draco felt sorry for the person who had to deal with both Pansy's frustration on an unknown subject matter and the disturbance of her hair. Unfortunately, that person was him.

"Why do you sound so resigned!?" Pansy's voice cut Draco out of his thoughts.

He stared at her in shock.

"And I'm not talking about what happened a while ago at the table, though that did cement it. I'm talking about how you haven't been _trying_ "

"What? What do you mean Pans?"

"I mean that whenever we go and research about your disease, you never seem as invested to look into it. In fact, you try to get any opportunity to drag me and Blaise out of the library and do other stuff, as if it was a normal day."

"Well what if that is what I want? If my time here is limited then I don't want to waste any single fucking second–"

"See!?" Pansy wildly gestured towards him. "That's what I'm talking about! Limited time? Draco, we're still searching for a way to stop that from happening. But here you are already believing that there's only one fucking conclusion!"

"Isn't it though?" Draco could hear his own voice rise, "Pans don't you think that the person afflicted with the disease can feel it? It's set in stone. I can feel it pulsing through my magic. There isn't a cure–"

"Stop it Draco! Just stop! You can't be giving up. We're slytherins for Merlin's sake. Where's your self-preservation? Your ambition? Don't you want to fucking live!"

"Pans, the only cure is either having my love requited from a person I don't even fucking know or having surgery which leaves only a small chance of survival and even then, I would lose the ability to love. Love in general. That only leaves the inevitable!"

"You don't know that! Just as you said, there's still the fucking object of your affections. We'll just have to find out whoever it is and–"

"Pans," Draco voice was shaking, "look at me."

She closed her mouth.

"Look at me Pans. If whoever I liked doesn't like me back, there's a large chance they never will."

She furrowed her brows in confusion and opened her mouth in protest.

"Look..." his voice had an edge to it. He's been thinking about this ever since he discovered that it was Hanahaki. Unrequited love to the point that he would cough out blood? Why? What exactly determined something to be unrequited for this affliction? He eventually came to a conclusion.

His two friends were now looking at him with worry and confusion, but he forged on.

"It's not just unrequited. It means they hate me."

He could see the cogs turning in his friends' heads. Their eyes widened in realiziation as he gave out a humorless laugh.

"They hate me. They have to hate me to a point where my feelings for them won't even reach them. It's to the point that magic believes that I deserve this."

"Draco you don't–"

"And if they hate me, then so be it."

"Draco, we just have to find out who that person is and change their opinion of you!"

Draco shook his head. "Doing that is like finding a needle in a haystack. And I think you can already tell that if the person hates me to that point...then it means that they hold a different set of beliefs..."

"You...you don't know that."

Draco felt the usual heaviness in his chest. He'd started getting used to it but he discovered that gradually, ut was getting heavier and heavier.

He felt another slight itch in his throat. "I can feel it."

"Bullshit!"

Draco turned to see Blaise glaring at him.

"We can't be so certain. We'll just have to improve your image in general. I mean we're already questioning our blood purity beliefs. Why not go all the way? We'll show everyone that you can be–"

Draco laughed, but it held no mirth.

"What? Draco why are you–"

Draco gave a shaky smile. "Then they would only love the image we faked. It wouldn't actually be me and this magic disease will still continue."

"That not what I–"

"Blaise, it's fine. To be honest, it was a miracle I manage to befriend you two idiots. For some reason, you actually came to like someone like me."

"Draco stop–"

"I know. I know that someone like me isn't exactly a person anyone would fall in love with. Because you know what? I'm the son of a death eater who believes in blood purity. I'm the heir of the Malfoy family, one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. People on the opposite side abhor me, and the people on our side fear me."

"Draco–"

"So you're right. The only way they would like someone like me is through an image change and even then, they wouldn't actually like me."

"It just takes a while Draco," Pansy added, "you always put up these walls and–"

"So you do agree," Draco seethed.

Pansy shut her mouth. Blaise was also avoiding his gaze.

"Well I'm glad to see that you support how I'm not exactly lovable. And see?" He pointed with his index finger, "that leaves only one conclusion!"

"Draco we can't give up, we still have time," Pansy snapped.

"And how much time will we use up before we realize that there really isn't any other alternative and that I've used up my remaining lifespan searching for an answer that doesn't even exist!"

"There is, either we'll find another cure or the person comes to love you back!" For once Blaise looked...angry.

Draco was used to Pansy being mad, but Blaise? He doesn't think that he's ever seen the boy in their 10 years of friendship go mad. Not even when when they were 4 year olds and Draco and Pansy had the largest of tantrums.

His gaze fell on what Blaise had crumpled in his hands.

"Blaise...what else did it say there?"

Blaise stopped and looked back at him. He was about to shove the letter into his pocket, when Pansy swiped it off.

Her face fell as she read its contents.

"So am I going to be the only one left in the dark?" Draco questioned after an annoyingly long time of silence.

Pansy silently handed him the letter.

_Case #2103335_

_Diagnosis: Hanahaki Disease_

_Victim afflicted with the disease expels blue rose petals from lungs. According to results, the flowers have only recently formed. However, it appears to be of a severe case.–_

Draco's eyes widened as he continued to read

_–The magic is much more potent in comparison with other cases. Only hypotheses can be made due to lack of data on the subject matter. One largely supported hypothesis, however, is that the victim's object of affection holds much more than dislike towards the victim. Based on tests, the rate of growth of the flowers is exponentially higher than others which only supports the inevitability of unrequited love._

Draco skimmed through the rest which only elaborated more on the disease and tests used to research the sample.

His eyes fell on the last sentence.

_According to the data, the victim has only 2 to 3 years left to live if their affections are never returned. No other alternatives for a cure have been determined._

He took in a sharp breath.

2 to 3 years.

That's all he had left.

Draco looked up to see Pansy and Blaise.

"We'll find a cure," Blaise spoke, "We still have time. We can–"

"So I was right," Draco looked back at the paper in his hands. His chest felt hollow, which was ironic since it was filled with a bunch of flowers. "I'm hated so much that I only have 2 to 3 years to live. I was right."

"We can still–"

"This is why you were trying to hide it!" Draco held the paper up, "because I was right and I only have a few years to live. I was right and–"

"Draco," Pansy cut in, "that's still years. We have time. We can research. We can even fucking skip the school year altogether–"

"Enough Pans!" Draco was tired. He was tired of his friends doing this. "Just drop it. You don't need to do anything. It won't even help."

For some reason Pansy looked hurt. "Why are you so stubborn. It's as if you actually want to die!"

"I don't–"

"We've only been researching for a few weeks. Why are you so adamant that there's only one way!"

"Because it doesn't take a genius to realize that there isn't," he grounded as he shoved the letter in front of her face. "If even a magical research center with all its data and instruments don't see a cure, then why the hell do you think three teenagers can!?"

"Maybe because they're not Slytherins or they didn't have the right resources! I don't know Draco. I just don't want my friend to fucking die!"

"Well I don't want to waste my life doing shit that will just make feel the magnitude of how fucking impossible it all is!" Draco found himself face to face with Pansy.

They were now roaring words at each other. He didn't know when it had escalated and which words were used, but it did.

"I WANT TO LIVE, NOT SPEND MY DAYS HOLED UP IN A FUCKING LIBRARY."

"WELL GOOD, I WANT YOU TO LIVE, NOT DIE BECAUSE MAGIC IS BEING A BITCH AND SHOVED STUPID FLOWERS DOWN YOUR THROAT."

"I JUST WANT TO ENJOY WHAT I HAVE LEFT!"

"I DON'T WANT YOU TO ONLY HAVE SO LITTLE LEFT!"

Blaise tried tor pry the two from each other. But they were having none of it, hurling words over his head.

"YOU'RE JUST BEING A SELFISH CUNT WHO WON'T EVEN LISTEN TO A DYING FRIEND'S REQUEST"

Pansy gasped, going red in the face. "WELL SORRY FOR BEING A FRIEND WHO DOESN'T WANT YOU TO DIE."

"Enough you two!" Blaise had casted a charm that silenced them.

They gasped with indignation at their friend.

"You two need to calm down. We're Slytherins, not roaring lions. Or did you forget?"

Once the two looked like they weren't going to yell his ear off, he let the charm down.

"Don't think I don't know you think the same," Draco seethed. "You were hiding that letter for a reason after all."

"I hid it," Blaise narrowed his eyes at Draco, "because I knew you were going to be a git about it and whine about how your life really is going to end."

Draco raised his hands in frustration. "Argh! You two should just get it in your head that I'm actually going to die!"

His words echoed throughout the room.

"We won't let you."

Draco looked at his two friends. He could imagine it already, how desperate they'll be everyday. How they'll hole themsleves up researching for even a sliver of an answer to help their friend.

And how broken they'll be when they come up with nothing.

"I don't want you guys to do this. If we leave it off, we can still spend time together and make good enough memories before I'm gone. At least something good can come out of this."

"We don't want memories," Pansy spat. "We want our friend alive."

"Fine then. Do your fucking research," Draco waved his hands in the air. "Leave your dying friend to spend the rest of his life alone."

"You're so fucking insufferable," Blaise remarked.

"Good," Draco glared at him. "Maybe that'll convince you to stop wasting your bloody time saving this 'insufferable' friend."

He didn't want to do this anymore. It was like talking to a fucking wall. Draco turned his back to them.

"You'll see. I'll give it a bloody week. You'll see my point and you'll come running back telling me how I was right. You'll see that there's nothing else you can do about this," he spoke.

The other two stayed silent.

Then there was the faint sounds of footsteps across the doors.

It sounded like there were numerous students heading through the corridors.

Draco quickly casted a tempus and frowned.

"We missed first period..."

The other two still didn't say anything. He turned around wondering why, when he saw their mouths set in a hard line.

"Honestly you can't be..." Draco furrowed his brows in confusion.

They quietly shoved passed him through the doors, leaving him behind.

He just stood there in the abandoned classroom, alone.

Draco didn't want to think–he didn't think that they would...what? Abandon him? Just like that?

He tried to rewind the conversations in his head, but it all just seemed like a blur of words and anger. The last thing he remembered was saying something about how pointless it was.

Why though? He's said more shitty things before and they still stayed by his side.

Draco could feel the itch still there in his throat. He coughed and coughed, trying to get it out. But it wouldn't dislodge. That just made it all the more irritating.


	4. 4 - A New Friend

Excitement was buzzing in the air. Everyone was talking about their dates and their suits and dresses and robes. Draco could hear the annoying squeals and loud chatter coming from all corners. There were even a few public proposals (annoying bloody confetti...).

The professors were also much more lenient in their classes as students discussed about the upcoming ball and weren't paying as much attention. Merlin, even the heads of the houses had to teach the students how to waltz, including Snape!

Everyone was excited for the upcoming Yule Ball.

But Draco couldn't feel the excitement.

He'd been trying to talk to his friends. Or were they still friends? Draco hoped they were. But as time passed, that hope seemed to fade.

In class, he would try to sit at their table. But then they would gather their things and move to another one.

Then in the Great Hall, he'd wait till all the seats were occupied before he would squeeze himself next to them. They just ignored him.

In the dorms, he tried to meet up with Blaise, but Blaise would quickly enter his bed and close the curtains. Most likely, he'd already put up the wards. Draco'd even tried to catch him in the mornings but Blaise had miraculously already taken his shower and left.

They weren't even anywhere near the library. If they weren't in class, the dorms, or the great hall, they were gone to the world. It's like they just suddenly vanished.

And of course, the stares just came back full force. The hairs on the nape of Draco's neck stood on end as he felt the boring stares from everyone.

It definitely was quite a contrast. One moment the Slytherin trio were always by each other's sides and the next, one of them was suddenly cut off, much more the Malfoy Heir himself.

He put on the indifferent mask, kept his chest out and head up. Draco knew he couldn't show weakness. He was a Malfoy. Malfoys don't slouch. Malfoys don't get hurt. And Malfoys don't get affected by the concept of friendship.

"Well looks like the Slytherin prince has lost his throne," a voice called out in the corridors.

Draco spun on his heel to meet face to face with– "Francis, it's a pleasure to meet you."

It was definitely not a pleasure at all. Francis was a 7th year who was a constant thorn on his side. Let's just say that if Draco had not arrived at Hogwarts, Francis would have most likely taken the spot of Slytherin Prince.

"It's François you little–"

"Yes of course, Francis. What do you want?" Draco kept on a calm demeanor and had one brow raised.

Francis sneered, "It's pathetic how far you've fallen, chasing after your followers who've finally gained some sense and left you for good."

Draco stiffened but forced himself to act nonchalant.

_You're a Malfoy. Don't show weakness._

"Of course that's to be expected," Francis continued. "You've lost your touch you know? The other Slytherins have already begun to notice. You keep to yourself and no longer spread word of our our blood purity beliefs."

Draco scoffed.

"What? Have nothing else to say? Look at you. You ran away with your tail tucked between your legs the moment you had a confrontation with the Golden Boy and his lot. No one fears you anymore Malfoy. I've heard word that daddy has become very disappointed in his poor excuse of a son. He definitely regrets marrying a lady from a family with so much bloodtraitors. She couldn't even do her job right and properly raise the Malfoy Heir. That bitch–"

Draco saw red.

Before he knew it, he'd had his wand right up at Francis' throat. "Shut. Up."

"Ohh I touched a nerve there didn't I?"

And Francis looked so fucking smug.

"But see, no one's scared of you anymore. Maybe you haven't realized, but you're no longer at the top."

And his smile was wide and confident and–Draco didn't know the right word to say it.

But Francis had the smile that was usually seen at those stupid Pureblood balls he had to attend. It was plastered on the politicians and higher ups. It was something he saw on his own father's face.

It was the smile of someone so sure they had won and had power at their fingertips.

Draco felt dread creep up his back and his blood run cold.

No. Francis had to be lying.

"Well," Draco added while lowering his wand as if it wasn't there in the first place, "even if I ever do no longer hold the Slytherin throne, I hope you don't expect that someone with less athletic ability and inferior lineage to mine can overtake that position?"

Draco was glad he still had some leeway as he saw Francis turn red in the face and leave.

Of course Francis decided to still have the last word, "It's François! And take this as a warning Malfoy. Don't get too comfortable with where you are right now. I wasn't lying about anything I said."

Draco was now alone in the corridors.

He took deep breaths trying to piece together Francis' words. Was it true? If Draco had to be honest, he hadn't been paying as much attention to the other slytherins lately. It most likely had to do with the whole Hanaki business and the incident with his friends.

_Are you still friends with them?_

Draco shook his head at this. Of course they are. It's just a little fight. And anyway, it's only been a few days.This is nothing. They've fought before.

_With absolute ignorance and avoidance of each other? Not even acknowledging that you exist? Do you still remember how they looked at you? How closed off they were? They've never done that before. You've really messed up. You've fucked up and now they won't ever–_

Draco could feel liquid pooling at the corner of his eyes. He wiped it away and was even more glad that no one was at the corridors.

He then casted a tempus and sighed in relief. Luckily, he still wasn't late for the next class

He made his way towards the dungeon and hoped to Merlin his day wouldn't get any worse.

-o-O-o-

It was Potions. Draco was glad that at least something was turning out right in this fucked up life. One of the Slytherins had ended up in tbe Hospital Wing due to a small case of dragobpox which had left their class with an odd number. This left Draco to be happily aline when everyone paired off. He didn't want to think what would've happened if he had to work with a Slytherin if...what Francis said was true...

Draco snapped out of his thoughts as he watched his potion turn into a bright blue color, just like it was stated in the book. He'd even finish with 15 minutes to spare.

Professor Snape passed by and inspected his cauldron. "It appears that Mr. Malfoy has concocted an adequate potion." The professor then took out his wand and casted a tempus. One brow slowly raised as he remarked, "and with time to spare."

Draco felt a burst of pride. It was rare for his godfather to give a compliment, well a compliment by his godfather's standards.

"20 points to Slytherin."

Groans sounded out around him, most definitely the Gryffindors, and loud cheers echoed from the Slytherins.

Draco could even see the mudb....He could see Granger huff in annoyance, no doubt from being beaten yet again in potions. And of course not so far from her was the stupid Weasley and Potter.

They've most likely concocted an abysmal potion that would burn the bottom of their bloody cauldron (It wouldn't be the first time).

Then silver eyes met green and Draco immediately turned away. He didn't know why, but he felt like for once, he wouldn't be able to handle his stare.

It was also strange.

Before, he would have easily been smug about the achievement and gloated at the golden trio, practically rubbing it in their faces. Made some remarks, made them rise to the bait, especially Potter.

But now...maybe he's just tired.

Tired of what, he didn't know.

Maybe everything.

Draco carefully glanced to the right. He couldn't make it obvious and–

There they were, Pansy and Blaise, just paying attention to the potion and book in their hands.

Draco sighed. He didn't know what he was expecting. Maybe a glance from them? A snicker or two at the Gryffindors' expense?

He scowled and busied himself with cleaning his station.

15 minutes later, Potions Class had come to an end. Draco was about to leave ahead of the others, already having everything cleaned and packed up, when his godfather called out.

"Mr. Malfoy, stay behind. I need to discuss with you about the essay you had passed."

Draco stiffened and heard some snickers coming from the Slytherins. They knew about Draco's drop in quality in his essays since the head of the house decided to discuss it with him right in the bloody middle of the common room in passing.

But before, they would have never outright mocked him like this.

Even the Gryffindors looked at them in confusion.

Draco gritted his teeth. A feeling of dread pulled at the pit of his stomach, Francis' words echoed in his head _'no longer at the top'_ _'nothing I said was a lie'._

He needed to do something about it.

He couldn't say much as everyone left, but he did give the slytherins a good deal of his glare.

Some shut up and looked away while others still gave a mocking sneer.

Alright, he wasn't entirely a lost cause. He still had somewhat of a footing.

"Mr. Malfoy, I believe there are matters that are in much more need of priority."

Draco looked back at his godfather.

He could hear the door shut and watched as Severus casted a locking charm and no doubt an anti-eavesdropping charm as well.

They stared at each other for a stretched moment, until his godfather finally gave in and raised a brow.

"Well, Mr. Malfoy? I would like to believe that you are not foolish enough to think that I was actually talking about your essay."

"Of course not professor," Draco grumbled.

He hoped this wouldn't take too long.

Draco watched as Severus settled behind his desk and look Draco in the eye. "Do I need to ask you or will you save us both the time and inform me of what is actually going on?"

Draco didn't have anything to say, at least nothing that wouldn't let on his issue with his disease which was the bloody source of all his problems.

"I have no idea what you're talking about professor. If this is about my performance in class, I assure you that there will definitely be improvements now that there are less...distractions."

"And by distractions, do you mean Ms. Parkinson and Mr. Zabini?"

Draco frowned and just nodded.

He watched his godfather sigh, muttering something along the lines of 'teenagers'.

Draco rolled his eyes, leave it to his godfather to hate even the idea of dealing with anything children or teen-related.

"Well Professor, if that is all–"

"You have not answered my question Mr. Malfoy. What has been occuring between you and your friends?"

Draco stayed silent.

His godfather pinched the bridge of his nose, "I will not be repeating myself. Your performance has been falling and you have not replied to any of your mother's letters."

Draco felt a bit guilty at that.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but the root cause has some relation to your...current predicament with Ms. Parkinson and Mr. Zabini."

Draco scoffed. It was true in some sense. But even now he still wasn't entitely sure why they...

Severus glared at him.

Draco shook himself out of his thoughts. "Professor, do you even want to talk about 'teenage problems'? Because I assure you, it's filled with plenty of things you are definitely not interested to hear. Do you really want to hear me rant about Pansy's gossips or Blaise's large array of sexual innuendos?"

Professor Snape was somehow able to look even paler than usual.

Draco internally smirked. He had this in the bag.

"If none Professor, then I'll be taking leave. I'll make sure to reply to Mother and improve my grades." Draco picked up his things and was on his way to the door.

"You're hiding something Draco."

Draco stopped in his footsteps.

"As your godfather, it's my duty to ask you to inform me of–"

"There's no need." Fuck. Draco spoke too fast.

"Mr. Malfoy, now I definitely know there is something wron–"

"You don't need to know." Draco turned to his godfather.

Severus walked towards Draco and Draco flinched. He stopped. "Draco."

"I believe that I have the right to keep my personal matters to myself." Draco was now looking at the wall behind his godfather.

"I'm not blind. I've also seen how the other Slytherins have been looking at y–"

"I said it's none of your business!" Draco shouted.

His words echoed throughout the room.

Shit. "Professor–I didn't mean–I was just–"

"I understand that you are going through your own personal 'teenage drama' but do not let it get to your head and interfere with your life. You can't let it affect your grades and your position in Slytherin. You are my godson and you are already upholding the Malfoy name......"

The rest of the words blocked off Draco's head. He didn't know what he was expecting. Was he honestly expecting something else? Words of comfort? Even just a pat on the back? Was he actually expecting Snape to show some strange form of care?

Maybe not. But he also didn't want another reminder of the weight he had to carry, as the Malfoy heir and the godson of the Head of Slytherin.

To not lose to Granger. To not lose to Potter. To stop bringing the Malfoy name down every time he fucks up. A detention. An E instead of an O. Losing a Quidditch Game. Not making the perfect potion. Being less than others. Being inferior.

How much time did he have to spend studying to stay at the top? How many times did he have to deal with stupid balls and people who spoke with hidden intentions, trying to find his weakness? How many choices did he have to make for his family, for their reputation.

It was manageable. He had his friends and he still loved his parents. But with a stupid life-threatening disease and the sudden loss of his friends and his position in Slytherin...Can he still say that he cares anymore about all of this?

For how long does he need to care?

"I don't care," the words left out of Draco's mouth without him realizing.

"...what?"

"I..." he looked down at his hands.

"What do you mean you do not care?" Snape's eyes narrowed.

"I don't..." it wasn't that he didn't care. In fact, he still cared a lot. He still cared about the pureblood traditions, the Malfoy name... It was just deep inside, he knew that no one cared about him.

His godfather didn't care. It was only because Draco was a Malfoy. It was only because he was Professor Snape's godson. No, he didn't care. Snape only cared about how it would affect his reputation if his own godson was failing at potions and in Slytherin in general. He won't care even if Draco has only a few years left. He didn't care. He won't ever care–

"Mr. Malfoy."

"You don't need to know. You definitely don't want to know."

"Well of course I'm not exactly interested to be privy to your fallouts in friendships," Professor rolled his eyes.

Snape didn't care about him. The Slytherins definitely didn't care about him, not when he's not taking the reins and spouting off the typical blood purity beliefs.

Do his friends care?

_Not anymore. You fucked that up remember?_

Draco was going to be sick.

No one cared. Draco felt his chest go heavier, whether with dread or flowers, he didn't know.

"Mr. Malfoy! You have been zoning out too much which has increased the necessity for us to discuss this–"

"There's no need professor," Draco spoke coolly. "I wouldn't think a halfblood like you would understand."

It's true. He wouldn't understand half of Draco's problems. The actual weight he carried with the Malfoy name, the position in Slytherin, the necessity to hide stupid life-threatining magic disea–

Draco realized what exactly he had just said to his godfather.

Severus went red in the face. "Mr. Malfoy," his voice was a low low timber, "I insist that you reiterate what you had just said to me."

Draco gulped, but stayed silent.

"You are not–I repeat–you are not to ever address me as so ever again. Do I make myself clear?"

"I–"

"Perhaps it was too much of me to expect even the barest of decorum from a 14-year-old. Just because you are dealing with typical fallouts in friendships does not give you the right to take that anger out on me. Let me inform you that whatever you're experiencing is but a small drop in the world of adults where we have–"

Draco clenched his jaw. Small drop? He thought of everything he had to keep together, how even the slightest mistakes could reflect poorly on the Malfoy name, how a slip-up could lead to a downfall in the Slytherin hierarchy–but wasn't that already happening?

He thought of his friends (maybe not anymore), his stupid disease, his father's scorn—His problems were but a small fucking drop?

Draco scoffed. Of course it is. "Then it actually doesn't really matter if it's just a bloody _small drop_. That just proves how you don't need to keep shoving your nose into it!" He was right. His godfather didn't actually care about his problems after all.

"Well in comparison with us adults, you brats don't even know what life will be throwing at you, much less someone of your status."

Draco glared at Snape. Snape didn't know a bloody thing. "Well I'm sorry if being a Malfoy means that my life is daisies and sunshine."

"It's definitely better compared to others' lives."

"You don't even know half of it!" Was this it? Had his own godfather not been able to see, to understand him from the very fucking start?

Snape growled, "You stop this insolence right now Mr. Malfoy. You are testing my patience!"

Draco scoffed. "Patience? You know what fine! I won't test your patience. I'll be taking my leave so you don't need to deal with me or my stupid small problems!"

Draco was already at the door. He just needed to use his wand and remove the–

"Mr. Malfoy we are not finished talking!"

* _Finite Incantum_ *

"I believe we have professor. Stay out of my life. You didn't even want to be a part of it in the first place."

And with that Draco ran.

He ran even with the heaviness in his chest.

Even if his bag wasn't as secured on his shoulder.

He ran.

He wished he could have done so forever.

But all runs eventually come to a stop.

Draco found himself standing by a lake, overlooking the rippling water, no doubt by the giant squid.

As he panted and tried to get his breathing back to normal, Draco took in his surroundings.

There were trees and patches of different plants. He watched as they swayed to the wind. Up above, the sky was still a steady blue dotted with soft clouds.

Ah. He still had classes.

Draco looked around. That meant other students were also having classes. Luckily, no one with a free period were outside at the moment. Draco sighed in relief.

He decided to use the opportunity and sat down.

When he finally caught his breath, he began coughing, hacking out whatever was stuck in his throat and lungs to no avail.

After a while, a bit of blood was dripping from the corners of his mouth while a few petals got carried by the wind. He watched the blue petals spotted with red fly off as he casted a cleaning spell on his face and clothes.

When he was done, he curled into himself, hugging his knees.

_Breathe, just breathe_

He chanted this in his head as he watched the slow ripples upon the lake's surface.

-o-O-o-

Draco didn't know how long he was there for, but the sky was now taking an orange hue. He had to go back soon.

"Hello there," a soft voice echoed from behind.

Draco ignored whoever she was. She sounded familiar though.

He focused on his breathings and the ripples on the lake instead.

"You have quite an infestation of wrackspurts."

Draco frowned. Just his luck, it was Looney Lovegood. Perhaps if he ignored her long enough, she'd go away.

He then saw in his periphery that Lovegood instead took that as a bloody invitation to sit next to him on the grass.

"Oh it is a lovely view. I can see why you would love to watch it."

Draco didn't know why, but it felt both unsettling and comforting hearing her dreamy-like voice. He stayed silent.

"I'm afraid though that the orange color of the sky only temporarily forces the wrackspurts away."

At that Draco turned his head toward her.

"You seem sad." She wasn't looking at him, but her words hanged in the air. It was a simple yet heavy statement to Draco.

He scoffed. "Oh really? What gave it away?"

He didn't know why he was talking to her. He wanted to be left alone. But well, it wouldn't hurt to have someone to actually talk to. Plus, no matter what he tells her, no one would actually believe Looney Lovegood if she decides to expose him someday.

"You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to," her voice dropped to a soft whisper. "A lot of people feel sad, you're not alone."

Draco felt a little warmed by the thought.

A tentacle soon popped out of the lake and...gave a wave?

Lovegood gave a hearty wave back while Draco watched the exchange in growing confusion.

"Erudeus is very lovely," she piped.

"Erudeus?"

"The giant squid of course! They prefer the solitude, but they still enjoy some company from time to time. Of course the gillies, snicklesnaps, and mermen are good company too. But they also like to see land dwellers like us."

Draco simply nodded as if that made any sense.

Lovegood took that as a sign to continue talking about...whatever she was talking about. (Did she say terasnops or terushops?...terishobs?)

Draco had no clue, but her voice filled in the aching silence. For once he thought maybe, just maybe, he could find peace despite the heaviness in his chest.

The sky was already getting dark and stars were popping up in the sky.

Draco listened as Lovegood continued her talk on different species that came out in the night. He had casted a soft lumos and a discrete notice-me-not charm.

Draco doubted anyone would care if he was out after curfew. He also had an inkling that the same applied to Lovegood.

Before he knew it, he was already making conversation with her. He didn't know when it had started. Perhaps when he asked some questions about what she had said, in disbelief, or when she decided to inquire about simple things like his favorite food.

He didn't know.

But it was nice.

"Oh my, the derulites will be coming any moment now. We really must head back inside." And with that she stood up in some sort of floaty motion. Draco didn't know how that was even possible.

He casted a tempus and found that it was exactly midnight. Draco somehow knew that these would be but one of the many cases that couldn't be explained when it came to Lovegood.

He picked himself up and dusted off any dirt on his robes.

Draco looked up to see the blonde girl still standing from where she sat. She was smiling at the lake despite the lack of tentacles in the air.

Lovegood just continued to stare there for an uncomfortable amount of time until Draco had enough and coughed into his hand. "Lovegood, I thought we were going back inside?"

He didn't even know why he was bringing it up. He could have just as easily left her right there and made his way to the Slytherin dorms.

But well...well she did talk with him. And it wasn't exactly...bad...

"Of course!" She beamed at him.

Draco rolled his eyes and made his way back to the castle.

"It's Luna by the way," she spoke as she walked beside him.

Draco looked at her in confusion. He was looking forward to a nice silent walk back to the castle. Instead, Lovegood was starting on some strange nonsense again.

"Yes...I do know your name is Luna Lovegood..." he spoke slowly, wondering why she was beginning another conversation with that.

"Oh," Lovegood covered her mouth with a hand, "so you are aware that it's my name."

Draco had no fucking clue where she was going with this but it was midnight, he was trekking through the school trying to not get caught by Filch, and he needed the energy to get through Mr. Binns' History of Magic.

He did not have the energy to deal with this. "Just bloody explain where you're trying to go with this."

She giggled, that piece of– "Well I just wonder why you have been calling me by my last name. I don't believe friends do that."

Draco stopped in his tracks, sputtering. "Wha–Lovegood, what on earth–"

She also stopped and peered at Draco, as if trying to find something (Draco didn't know what that was). Perhaps she found it since she suddenly smiled and spoke, "Well Draco, we're friends and friends don't call each other by their last names."

She then skipped along ahead as if that was that.

Draco huffed and quickened towards her. "Lovegood I don't know how you even came up wit–!"

She made a shushing gesture with her hand as they were already at the entrance hall.

Draco continued on in a whisper, "Lovegood I don't know what led you to believe so. But we are definitely not as you call 'friends'. Far from it, we–"

She hummed again as they continued their walk.

If not for the need to be quiet, Draco would have screamed.

"Lovegood!" he shout-whispered.

She kept humming.

"Lovegood!"

She still kept humming.

"Oh for the love of–Luna!"

She then turned towards him with a smile. "So we are friends after all."

Draco opened his mouth in shock and was about to protest again–

"Oh! I believe this is where we will be parting ways." She stopped at the entrance pointing to the direction to the Ravenclaw tower, different from the Slytherin dungeons. "Good night Draco. It was nice discussing nightly creatures with you."

Draco grumbled as the small girl gave him a wave and flittered off.

He watched her disappearing figure as he casted a disillusionment charm on himself and made his way to the dungeons.

Bloody Ravenclaws. Bloody Lovegood.

_So we are friends after all_

Maybe his life wasn't as fucked up as he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College is hard, tests suck, and I am dying in groupworks.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I decided to do a thing where you just write and publish as you go instead of planning the whole thing (I'm doing this for another fic). Hopefully, this ends up well and you guys enjoy it!


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